I was a little late to the game when Beyoncé’s self-titled album first dropped. I am not an Apple user so I had to wait a week before I had access to the visual album “seen” around the world. Except for Flawless, which has since become somewhat of a personal feminist “girl, get your life, […]
Tag: sex
Single, Saved, and Sexin: The Redux
One of the most controversial posts we’ve ever had here at the blog was called Single, Saved, and Sexin’: The Gospel of Getting Your Freak On. In that piece, over two years ago, I argued: Sex is a form of creative power. And it is in the literal fact of its creative aspects that we […]
Pineapples
They say eating pineapples makes your juices taste good. Lately, I find myself ordering lots of fruit salads, tryin’ to guarantee that my juices keep her coming back for more. She doesn’t know this of course. I mean, I know she loves me and I know she loves my goodies but still … I’m trying […]
Like Riding a Bike? Dry Spell Dilemmas
I have spent this Valentine’s Day season wrapped in the loving embrace of feminist friends and family who have expressed their care and affection through thoughtful cards, shared meals, and copious amounts of cocktails. I have been reminded numerous times how bootleg a holiday is that celebrates heterosexual coupledom at the expense of all […]
Sex on Screen: An Intro to the Hella Brown Series (NSFW)
Porn is what’s hot in the streets (aka halls of the academy) now. There are brilliant scholars who historicize and build upon black feminist participation in conversations about pornography. And there are others who simplify the argument into a false then vs. now paradigm that presents our foremothers as prudes, not as the women who […]
Throwback Thursday: no strings
In as many days I have had conversations with two homegirls who are negotiating the complications of no-strings-turned-tangled situations with could-be, should be, damn near would be lovers. Sex is serious business. Because while everybody should be able to get their physical needs met, there are other, more complicated and tangled needs wrapped up somewhere between tight thighs […]
no strings
i thought that i could be brave enough to make love to you with no strings attached but your arms around me felt like strings your fingers, like strings when you used them to massage my neck and caress my back and my legs felt like strings when i held them around your neck & […]
Love Overflow: A Red Reflection (and a Trigger Warning… SMH)
It’s early on Valentine’s Day, an invented holiday by U.S. greeting card companies (for real, look it up!). I just learned about Too Short’s “Fatherly Advice” to young boys about how to “turn girls out” in a video for XXL. While this is not shocking for Too Short, it also speaks to the culture we […]
Sexy, Self-Conscious, Sanctified, Sassy & Single: Why I Married My Ph.D.
2011 has garnered a lot of conversations centering on the undesirability (hence un-marryability) of (professional) black women. Black women have been fed unsolicited and unnecessary information about how to correct and prepare ourselves for our soulmate without giving us the credit due grown ass women who routinely (and effectively) handle our ish, look good doing […]
It Gets Wetter: A Message to Women Who Frequently Have Horrible, Rushed Sex (NSFW)
Here’s a bold truth: I don’t enjoy penetration of any kind unless I’m wet enough to drown a dolphin. And this truth wouldn’t be a problem if sex weren’t always about penetration. One sex therapist put it best when she said, “If most women don’t have orgasms during ‘sex,’ but do have orgasms, perhaps we […]