Graduate school was nothing short of an emotional and physical rollercoaster. I spent the first semester depressed and homesick, years 2-4 battling a stress-induced stomach condition that caused me to lose not only 75 pounds but also a whole semester of work. I healed just in time to begin my dissertation, wherein I gained back […]
Category: Self-Care
“wife” is code for “The Help”
So all the women in my life are going to or have already seen the new movie The Help, but I cannot possibly bring myself to go because 1) I really don’t feel that I need another “black women as domestic servants to white women” or “black women as nanny/mammy to white children” story in […]
Putting My House in Order: Some Thoughts on Self-Care
Toni Cade Bambara’s “On the Issue of Roles” is one of my all-time favorite essays and a particular passage has been on my mind a lot lately. Bambara writes: Running off to mimeograph a fuck-whitey leaflet, leaving your mate to brood, is not revolutionary. Hopping on a plane to rap to someone else’s “community” while your […]
Atlanta Music Scene Coming Back: The Chronicle Reunion
Please understand that before there was crunk there was The Chronicle; before there was Bone Crusher there was Lyrical Giants; before there was India Arie there was Donnie and Joi, before Janelle Monae there was Edith’s Wish. Atlanta was bursting with musical creativity and at the center of the live music scene was a band […]
happy and ‘blackful’: a mini playlist
I dusted up my Keds something terrible Monday night. Maze featuring Frankie Beverly opened the 2011 season of Brooklyn’s Martin Luther King Jr. concert series and I two stepped until my calves cramped. I arrived early enough to get beat down by the late afternoon sun and ate up by the bugs attracted by my […]
Did you say lesbians? I love lesbians!
So I’m sitting in a coffee shop talking with a brother about a trip he took to Africa to work in a village. I was a little annoyed by his comments that more black kids should be taken to Africa so they can see how good they have it in America, but I decided not […]
Please Accept My Sincere Apology
Dear Sonja, I just wanted to write a letter and let you know how important you are to me. You have been there by my side all these years and I am ashamed to say that I have never showed you my full appreciation. Sonja, you helped me learn things about myself, my body, and […]
These Days I Hate Going to the Gynecologist
Oftentimes women complain that they hate going to the gynecologist because they don’t like the procedures. Sometimes it is likened to going to the dentist but more uncomfortable and personal. I can’t say that my reasons are related to the procedures. In fact, what makes me most uncomfortable about the speculum is the historical […]
It Gets Wetter: A Message to Women Who Frequently Have Horrible, Rushed Sex (NSFW)
Here’s a bold truth: I don’t enjoy penetration of any kind unless I’m wet enough to drown a dolphin. And this truth wouldn’t be a problem if sex weren’t always about penetration. One sex therapist put it best when she said, “If most women don’t have orgasms during ‘sex,’ but do have orgasms, perhaps we […]
The Joy(s) of Being A (Black) Woman
I taught a class of Black Women’s Stories this semester and it culminated in a moment of clarity and a recognition of joy. When speaking with a black woman scholar whom I both admire and respect, I shared some of my concerns about the course and how while the stories are certainly powerful, many narratives […]