I upgraded my cable package a few years ago and have been keeping up with the Kardashians for a few seasons now. I’m not sure what happened the first few years, but thanks to E! marathons I am certain that I’m up to speed. I have no problems admitting that I’m a fan of the […]
Category: Relationships
Lessons Learned
“Mas sabe el Diablo por viejo que por Diablo.” “The devil knows more from being old than from being the devil.” This is my birthday month and I have now lived on this planet for 3 whole decades. I’ve been thinking a lot about the lessons I have learned and thought I would share them […]
Close Kin & Distant Relatives: Some Thoughts on Family
Folks who know me know that I have family on the brain. I am writing a book on family as theme in contemporary black women’s literature. Right now I’m also teaching a survey course on African American literature, with family as the guiding theme and this is not the first time I have done so. […]
The Choices We Make
Story #1- Last Monday I picked my son up from his afterschool program and was met with a full on tantrum. He was upset that I would not allow him to eat the gummy Starbursts given to him by his chess coach and informed me that he had already had some at “snack” time. Story […]
Watch out for the Big Girls: Some Thoughts on TLC’s Big Sexy
One of TLC’s latest unscripted shows, Big Sexy, has been hailed by some critics as a “plus-sized Sex and the City.” The show follows five fluffy friends who live in New York City and work in the beauty industry. Viewers get to tag along as the ladies traverse the ups-and-downs of careers, romantic life, and […]
Rituals , Spells, and Intuition
I come from a world where you don’t mess with your ancestors, dreams have meaning, seashells give advice, upside down coffee cups tell stories, and practicing black magic has severe consequences. As a child, I would sit between my mother and aunties’ legs witnessing women tipping stained coffee cups to the side, preaching of ills […]
“wife” is code for “The Help”
So all the women in my life are going to or have already seen the new movie The Help, but I cannot possibly bring myself to go because 1) I really don’t feel that I need another “black women as domestic servants to white women” or “black women as nanny/mammy to white children” story in […]
Putting My House in Order: Some Thoughts on Self-Care
Toni Cade Bambara’s “On the Issue of Roles” is one of my all-time favorite essays and a particular passage has been on my mind a lot lately. Bambara writes: Running off to mimeograph a fuck-whitey leaflet, leaving your mate to brood, is not revolutionary. Hopping on a plane to rap to someone else’s “community” while your […]
Prelude to an Exhale: My Best Friend Is Getting Married!
My best friend is getting married (in three weeks). In fact, in the last four months, three of my close friends have tied the knot. I can remember having “waiting to exhale” conversations with all three of these friends (one of them male) about the improbability and impossibility that true, enduring, forever-type love was possible […]
Please Accept My Sincere Apology
Dear Sonja, I just wanted to write a letter and let you know how important you are to me. You have been there by my side all these years and I am ashamed to say that I have never showed you my full appreciation. Sonja, you helped me learn things about myself, my body, and […]