astigmatism: the inability to see clearly
stigma: a mark of disgrace or infamy
-ism: a suffix added to terms to reflect a symptom or ideology
“Sometimes you can’t see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.”
I see you.
You are beautiful and you don’t even know it.
I mean it.
You are!
If no one has told you yet today, consider me the first.
Sometimes just hearing the words can make all the difference in the world. I know what it feels like when no one tells you that you are beautiful. I know how powerful those words can become when someone uses them against you… wielding them like a weapon used to keep you in line, threatening to destroy you with the silence that you feel so deep when the words stop being spoken. “…with your fine self,” …”with your pretty self,” “with your ___________…”
The world stops telling blackgirls they are beautiful after while,
if it ever tells us at all
Mama doesn’t say it
either because she thinks you already know it
or because she is preoccupied with getting by
Daddy might not say it
because he is too busy calling out somebody else’s pretty
After elementary school, when you need to hear it the most
friends won’t say it
out of fear that your pretty might be prettier than theirs
In high school the words are hidden beneath innuendos that imply your pretty is conditional
But it’s not
By the time you are in your twenties you are so used to being presumed ugly that it is internalized
Looking back at myself, I had no idea I was a pretty blackgirl
I was too busy trying to be invisible
apologizing to myself &
overcompensating for what I thought was wrong (with me)
Don’t make that mistake, don’t accept the hype, don’t believe the bullish
Don’t let the absence of words cloud your vision or keep you from seeing (yourself) straight.
Don’t wait for a man, or a friend, or a father, or a stranger, or a woman you like to tell you
Tell yourself
And mean it
Pay attention to who you are, what you have overcome, what you have survived.
You are a remarkable, beautiful, precious genius! Everything about you is wonderful.
You are just the way you are supposed to be
You are not a distortion or a mistake
You are loved.
And worthy of love.
And forgiveness.
Sometimes the stigma of so much pain and disappointment and worry and sickness and stereotypes and struggles and self-hate and sacrifice and lack and discrimination and blackness and femaleness and being different pass down
legacies of loss or shame
that weigh you down
but I have a remedy
for astigmatism (not seeing yourself clearly)
for the stigma (of past choices or limitations)
of feeling misunderstood
for the –ism that feels attached to everything you do
and everything you are
It’s a perception problem
You need a new lens
so you can see yourself
fully
differently
abundantly
beautifully
Stop in front of a mirror today
Open your eyes all the way
Don’t stop looking until you see it
Your capacity and possibility
Your mahogany-skinned beauty
Your charcoal eyes
Your frizzy/wavy/kinky/curly/straight hair
Your wide nose
Your luscious lips
The pot in your belly, the junk in your trunk
The marks that stretch from here to there
And the moles and marks that are uniquely your own
You are beautiful
And being beautiful-black doesn’t mean you have to be strong
But be awake
Be present
Be open
And be forgiving
Open your eyes
See yourself
& love yourself
in all your magnificence and fury
And when you do, and tears rush into an open smile
Show another blackgirl
How badass beautiful she is
Tell her ‘til she rolls her eyes at the ridiculousness of it all
When she doesn’t hear you, because she’s not used to the words,
Tell her again
Tell her ‘til she throws up her hands, shakes her head, and smiles in sweet surrender
to the fact that being all of who she is
is (and always has been) enuf
Reblogged this on The Chronicles of Travelling Womanists and commented:
Dear All,
I hope this finds you well. I am currently in Haiti working with vulnerable girls throughout the capital of Port -au-Prince. I read this today and could not stop thinking about the girl groups, that I have had the privilege of sitting in on over the course of the last week. I read this and thought about all these young girls.
Thank you for sharing this with me today. I assure you, I will not let any girl leave the circle today without telling her how beautiful she is, not just today but every day!
Love Erzuhlie
I love this! I was this girl too, so thanks for writing this!
Fantastic! Except none of the images are of women with pots in their bellies or junk in their trunks. All the women are THINbeautiful. What about FATbeautiful?
Andrea,
The images were selected because they were black women with glasses (I was going for the “astigmatism” factor), not because of their body type. In no way did I intend to insinuate that one type of beauty trumps another.
I am on my way to consciously select (and add) a full bodied image of a full bodied beautiful woman…stay tuned 😉
<3
That was absolutely perfect and a Godsend. I would love to repost.
You have no idea how much I needed this today. Thank you, and sharing.
Reblogged this on wtpdiaries and commented:
Somebody besides me needed to hear this today…Thank you for reminding me that I AM “enuf.”
thank you for this post! i needed it ten years ago and i still need it now ^^
More than 30 years ago I was walking up a staircase and a beautiful black girl was coming down. I stopped her and asked, Is there anyone in your life who reminds you often how gorgeous you are? She started to beam and then broke into tears and ran off. I have been leery ever since of saying something like that. I think I shall start again.
R. This is so amazing I can’t even hold back the tears. Your words your rhythm your vision is so precisely on point and I thank you. I thank you. I thank you!
(1964) Nina Simone, Waring Cuney
She does not know
Her beauty.
She thinks her brown glory,
She thinks her brown body
Has no glory.
If she could dance
Naked,
Under palm trees
And see her image in the river
She would know
Yes, she would know.
But there are no palm trees
In the street,
No palm trees in the street
And dishwater gives back no images.
Along with our new lenses we need natural reflections, safe shelter, and movement. We need our rivers and palm trees and dancing.
CF, <3 … that Nina Simone is brilliant. And I concur with the additional necessities of what we need…reflections, shelter, movement… yes!!! That!!!
That was such an unexpected blessing. Brought tears to my eyes.
Thank you.
Absolutely beautiful!
Thank you. I needed this today. And I’ve printed it for future reference.
*snaps*
Thank you.
You are truly beautiful.
Reblogged this on SoWhatsArt?.
haven’t even read this article yet, but the title alone reminds me of one of the many reasons i adore you, cfc.
Reblogged this on Musings of An African Woman.
Wow!!!
This is beautiful! And powerful, profound!
Makes me think.
I love you,
Marian
Reblogged this on Sound OFF.
I am in tears right now. I was that girl and now sometimes that woman. It’s still a long road to travel.
BlOG ON BlOG ON!!! Forever am I moved!!! Yes, mid-twenties is when I began my self-affirmations, and then late twenties started reading Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life, and took an old lipstick (deep red) and wrote affirmations onto my mirrors. I had no choice but to see them. When I had good days, great days, low and high days, reading them gave me strength, encouragement and understanding. Every day that I see my reflection I see a reflection of who I am, who I am glad to be….and especially who I am glad my niece(s) sees.
a great friend sent this to me and i was finally able to read it today. Wonderful, thought-provoking words. Beautiful.